Death to "Pretty"

Since anyone reading this is currently using the internet, I'm sure you've seen the video published some time in the past 6 months (I think) of all the little girls using overly offensive language to make a valid, if not always well-received, point. The one line that stuck in my head the most was when one little girl said something along the lines of, "Stop calling me pretty, I'm a powerful young woman." I've been struggling with this idea because I regularly use "Pretty" or "Beautiful" as a term of endearment for my girls. All I could think was, "How can this be bad? I'm teaching my girls that I think they're beautiful no matter what."

I'm teaching my girls that I think they're beautiful.

I'm teaching my girls about beauty before I teach them about bravery or strength of character.

What I'm really teaching my girls is that beauty is the most important attribute a woman could possess.

This morning for the first time I realized this. I realized that I've been teaching my two-year-old that self-esteem should come from your appearance, not who you really are. I have been training my 17-month-old to believe that if she gets bad acne or survives some horrible accident with scars, she is worth less as a person.

I've read all the blog posts and articles and still didn't realize I was am part of the problem.

But now I know. Now is the time to change. Moving forward from this realization I feel I need to find new pseudonyms for my precious young women.

Strong girl. Kind girl. Honest girl.

This is one small change I can make which I hope will improve who they are as people, and who I am as a parent.